Ladies, I know this seems like the least of your worries, but sometimes it really is hard to be with someone when his feelings are stronger than yours. A lot of times the guy comes on too strong and scares you away before the relationship even starts. I’m here to dish for you on the best way to keep the dating slow and steady, and in your control. That way if you do really like him you can let your feelings develop at your own pace, without being turned off by him. Here are things to do when his feelings are stronger than yours.
1. ASSURE HIM YOU LIKE HIM
If this guy likes you more than you like him he definitely needs to be reassured you like him. Side tip: don’t be with someone so insecure that you have to wear a t-shirt that says “I like you” 24/7. But it is important to show him affection, share with him your feelings about him, and make him feel good about himself. Think to yourself if you were in his shoes, how would you like him to show the feelings are reciprocated?
2. BE HONEST WHERE YOU STAND IN THE RELATIONSHIP
I have a pet peeve for ladies trying to people please guyss just to feed their ego. There is no reason you need to lie to him just to make him feel better about himself. If you aren’t exactly sure how you feel about him, but know you do like getting to know him and being with him, that is okay. Let him know. Being honest about where you stand in the relationship keeps out the emotional guessing game. It’s not fair to a guy to be led along. So don’t be afraid to hurt his feelings because you were honest. He’ll be more hurt by the fact you lied about how you truly felt.
3. ENJOY THE RIDE
Dating is a fun and adventurous experience. When his feelings are stronger than yours he usually pulls out all the stops. Don’t feel guilty about enjoying the dates you are going on. It’s also important to enjoy the ride emotionally. All the butterflies, the first kiss, long talks, and PDA moments are some of the best parts of building a relationship. Let yourself fall slowly if that is where you are at and soak up every moment that counts.
4. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE ON SAME PAGE
So many people think it isn’t okay if you aren’t on the same page feelings-wise, for example, if someone wants to be exclusive while the other person is still interested in dating other people. If you both like each other enough you will accept what the other individual desires. Don’t ever let a guy pressure you into becoming more with him if you aren’t ready to. A lot of guys just want to be with someone to be with someone, and that doesn’t specifically have to be you. If you’re that lady who enjoys being single then be that lady. If he likes you as much as he says, he will be waiting for you when you’re ready to be with him exclusively. If not, then he wasn’t meant to be.
5. TAKE THINGS SLOW SEXUALLY
Most guys will never admit to this, but they do get more attached to a person they care about after sleeping with them. When their heart is on the line and they sexually become involved with a person the feelings do become stronger. This is a part of not leading the guy on, no matter how much you want to rip his clothes off. Have an honest conversation and let this guy know you just want to take things slow sexually, and get to know each other. It gives you a chance to truly see if you care about him and develop your feelings before leading him into something you inevitably don’t want. If he walks away because you won’t do anything with him then he’s not someone worth your time!
6. IF HE STARTS TO SCARE YOU OFF, TELL HIM
From my experience, I have had a lot of guys creep me out. My text messages looked like an episode of Gossip Girl getting signed “xoxo” or my phone blowing up with 5 phone calls in a row. When you like someone so much and know they don’t feel the same, we try with all our power to change how they feel. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. If you actually like this guy you’re dating and he starts to become too much, just tell him. He may be offended but it’s better if he pulls back a bit than if he scares you away. Otherwise he’ll lose you for good. Don’t be mean about it, but just nicely let him know you aren’t on the same page with him yet and just need him to cool off a little. You don’t want to hurt the poor guy, and if you do, at least you gave him something to think about for the next lady he goes for!
DON’T LEAD HIM ON
This is probably my most important tip when his feelings are stronger than yours. Playing with someone’s emotions is careless and cruel. It is important to not be afraid to hurt him or bruise his ego. A lot of times as ladies we are too afraid to be honest or say something mean to a guy, but in all honesty making a guy think you are more into him then you really are is worse than telling him to back off. Always be open about how you feel and where you stand. If you hold onto that one piece of advice, then you don’t have to worry about ever being at fault for your behavior or actions.
Ladies, this article on 7 things to do when his feelings are stronger than yours is meant to help you be with someone on your own time. Just remember to be honest, stick to your own relationship agenda, and enjoy getting to know each other. Just because you don’t like the guy as much as he likes you doesn’t mean anything bad except you don’t know him well enough yet or know what you want. Think about it, how many times have you been in that hot seat?
– Kiley Coleman