It seems like every time we turn around, science is giving us another reason that selfies are bad for us. They’re apparently evidence of narcissism or self-centeredness, though, some people say they’re a feminist act of smashing patriarchal beauty standards, which YES, GIRL.
Now, we have a new study to add to the chorus of well-intentioned scientists warning us to scale back on the selfie taking. Evidently they have a negative impact on romantic relationships.
A new study published in Telematics and Informatics, which surveyed 305 Chilean adults over a two-year period about social media’s role in their relationship, found that selfies are bad for romance. According to PsyPost, “the level of jealousy between romantic partners increased with the amount of selfies that were posted on social media sites.” The study also found that “photo related conflicts as a result of posting selfies negatively affected the quality of the relationship.”
Personally, I’d be interested to see the gender breakdown of this jealousy and whether it was consistent between heterosexual and queer relationships because women (under 40) take more selfies than men, so are these male partners that are jealous when their female partners post selfies? If that’s the case, these women need to ditch these insecure dudes ASAP.
Feeling jealous because your partner posts pictures of themselves looking fabulous for the world to see is a sign of insecurity. Someone who feels confident and secure in their relationship with their partner would be loving the fact that everyone else can see how hot their boo is.
The study went on to say that the more selfies someone shares on social media, the more likely it is that they are trying to “create an idealised persona of themselves.” Which, duh, right? Is it really so bad that someone would want to put forward their best self for the world to see? What’s wrong with wanting people to think we look awesome, or to think that we’re living our best life?
So many of these findings feel like concern-trolling conclusions that negatively impact women who just want to post images of themselves feeling good. In a world where women are constantly told that our value is in how we look, you should hate the game, not the player.
This isn’t to say that sharing selfies on social media might not make your partner jealous, but if that’s the case, it might be time to open up a conversation about why your partner feels that way because those jealous feelings say way more about the jealous partner than they do about the one who isn’t doing anything but slaying on social media.
The moral of the story: you shouldn’t have to dull your shine just because someone else can’t handle it.
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